Old Posts - 30/10/2007

I was browsing through my old depressive blog and thought I ought to, over the next few weeks, post some of the posts on here as I'm actually amazed at how good my writing was back then!  They are whinney, they are moody, and they are typical of a teenager, but it's like looking back at a different person and most importantly at a different slice of history.  So here's the first one.  The second post I ever wrote.

I would have been in Sixth Form a year, this would have been mid-term year 13. Me aged 17.

*****

TUESDAY, 30 OCTOBER 2007


Animosity isn't your greatest trait...
Thousands of people have probably been in the position where you're a newcomer to the group, everyone instantly likes you (or appears to) and everything's going swimmingly...until you meet that treacherous barrier that is 'bitching'. Yes everyone has either been there or done it and i have to admit I'm party to both =( But experience has taught me one thing...those who bitch are the most vulnerable people in the group, they see others as a weakness and bitching is all down to one thing....JEALOUSY


Yes, that green eyed monster has raised its head and sighted a new target. So what if someone talks to another person more frequently then another, it obviously means they have much more to talk about to that individual, instead of putting up with lies and other verbal diarrhoea from another.


The whole concept of social relations is incredulous. Basically i see it as this...you have friends or associates and then you have your close friends...the people you love, the people you can actually turn to and they'll make you smile within a heartbeat...they're you're family who aren't always in your house and under your feet...with you through thick and thin... They DO NOT bitch and snigger and mock your personality they love you for you.


Associates are people you see in a situation your stuck in but although you may want to, you just can't form an attachment with them...they just don't feel right.


so what have i learnt from this? Don't make friends. My school couldn't have been so right as they drilled them same three words in to us continuously at the beginning of last year.


Don't make friends
Don't make friends
Don't make friends


And i thought...as you will by reading this insane comment....the same as everyone on this planet would think...that that is the most preposterous comment in the world and that one should not be condemned to face their education lonely and in a dark corner without bothering talking to someone. And yes that's right you face the onset of stress if you were to throw yourself into that arrangement.


But think of the other side, the side where you needn't pretend to listen, you needn't pretend to care, it's just you, your thoughts...and perhaps some music. To me, that right now, is bliss. It is the best thing in the world. Nothings more worthwhile then sitting back once in a while and observing life and the way people act. You can see the flaws, you can feel others pain, you can see how your role in society matters. And hence that is the most important thing in the world, seeing how the world really ticks.


Well this is the end of any bitchiness on my part...I'm just gonna totally kick ass next time i talk to the invalid..I'll let ya know about it later =)


but this is it ...til next time..x